


Rufus Drumknott: A Character Primer

by DictionaryWrites



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Analysis, Canon Universe, Character Analysis, Character Study
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-12-06 21:15:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18225509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DictionaryWrites/pseuds/DictionaryWrites
Summary: This is honestly as much for my own reference as anyone else's, but this is pretty much me noting downallof the canonic character traits and passages we see where Drumknott is concerned, and then examining them and then kind of extrapolating from them what we can, both about his shtick and also his dynamic with Vetinari.I've also tagged this Vetinari/Drumknott because of the implication we get in RS that they're the same as a married couple, and no one can stop me from loving that!





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> This is all canon stuff, but honestly, when I have finished this little labour of love, I will probably make _another_ primer full of my fanon stuff for Drumknott, just because I've had a few people ask permission to use certain details I include, so like, I'll make a cute little bio and some additional character traits, etc.
> 
> I love... this boy.

Let’s talk about Drumknott, because I love him, and I would like to convince you to love him also, if you do not already. He’s very much a minor character in the Discworld series, but he just makes me smile _so_ much, and I just think he’s so… _darling_.

He’s such an awful little bastard.

He’s _really_ good, and I love him. He’s one of those characters that’s so ridiculously boring that he comes out the other side again as utterly adorable: I really love Vetinari and Drumknott as complements to one another, simply because like… For all Vetinari _pretends_ to be a very dry, boring man with no sense of humour, Drumknott is absolutely that man, and it’s…

They’re just very cute.

Drumknott is very cute.

I’m going to go through each of the books individually, and after that, I’m going to do another chapter that’s just… a collation of his primary traits. I love him… _so much_.

So, Drumknott appears, for reference, in:

  * **Men At Arms** (Watch #2, Disc #15) 
    * First appearance, mention only.
  * **Feet of Clay** (Watch #3, Disc #16)
  * **Jingo** (Watch #4, Disc #21)
  * **The Fifth Elephant** (Watch #5, Disc #24)
  * **The Truth** (Disc #25)
  * **Going Postal** (Moist #1, Disc #33)
  * **Thud!** (Watch #7, Disc #34)
  * **Making Money** (Moist #2, Disc #36)
  * **Unseen Academicals** (Disc #37)
  * **Snuff** (Watch #8, Disc #39)
  * **Raising Steam** (Moist #3, Disc #40)



And let’s start, right at the beginning, with Drumknott’s entry in _The Discworld Companion_ :

 **Drumknott.** Rufus Drumknott is Personal Secretary to Lord VETINARI. He is a man with no discernible character.

_Now let’s discern as hard as we can!_


	2. Men At Arms; Feet of Clay; Jingo

# Men At Arms (Watch #2, Disc #15)

So, Drumknott is first introduced to the series in _Men At Arms_ , in the aftermath of _Guards! Guards!_ It’s literally just a little line of a mention, and Drumknott is referred to as “a clerk” – he’s the one that takes a ladder to Doctor Cruces when he falls in the hoho.

He “hurries” forward when Vetinari rings a gay-ass little bell, which like.

Story of his life.

What I would note about this mention is that he’s just referred to as “a clerk”, which may imply that he wasn’t necessarily Vetinari’s personal clerk, right away? He’s referred to as a variety of things throughout the books – as his personal clerk, his personal secretary, and his chief of clerks, and these terms all seem to be used interchangeably. It might be that the clerk Drumknott here is _already_ his personal clerk, or maybe he got promoted later on.

# Feet of Clay (Watch #3, Disc #16)

And now, _Feet of Clay!_

This is Drumknott’s first introduction as like, an actual character, and he’s… so good.

 

> “Ah…Mr. Drumknott?”
> 
> The Patrician’s personal clerk, who’d been watching Detritus’s [interrogation] technique with a horrified expression, looked up. “Yes, Commander?”
> 
> “What’s this book? Is it his lordship’s diary?”
> 
> Drumknott took the book. “It looks like it, certainly.”
> 
> “Have you been able to crack the code?”
> 
> “I didn’t know it was in code, Commander.”
> 
> “What? You’ve never looked at it?”
> 
> “Why should I, sir? It’s not mine.”

_Feet of Clay,_ Terry Pratchett, 1996.

* * *

So, there’s two important things about this initial section.

Firstly, this is the first mention we get of Drumknott as the Patrician’s “personal clerk” – he’s also referred to as Vetinari’s “head clerk” later on, which would imply that as well as dealing with Vetinari’s own personal needs, he also manages the junior clerks at the Patrician’s Palace.

 _Secondly_ , we draw a very immediate contrast with Lupine Wonse, the Patrician’s previous personal clerk: Lupine Wonse was ambitious, deceitful, and hoped to take on the Patrician’s power for his own by inputting his own proxy on the actual throne. Drumknott, from the very beginning, doesn’t seem to actually care about power – if he did, he would want to know what was in Vetinari’s diary.

There’s something so blandly honest about his response, and Drumknott really is a character that I would align with Carrot in terms of some basic character traits re: the following of rules.

 _Why should I, sir? It’s not mine_.

Not, “oh, I wouldn’t do that, it would be wrong,” or some other attempt at explanation, which would just be so much more suspicious? He just looks at Vimes like? But why? Why would I bother?

And _then_ …

 

> “You do know his last secretary tried to kill him?”
> 
> “Yes, sir, I ought to say, sir, that I have already been exhaustively interrogated by your men.” Drumknott opened the book and raised his eyebrows.
> 
> “What did they say?” said Vimes.
> 
> Drumknott looked up thoughtfully. “Let me see, now…‘It was you wot done it, own up, everybody seen you, we got lots of people say you done it, you done it all right didn’t you, own up.’ That was, I think, the general approach. And then, like the scullery maid just now, I said it wasn’t me and that seemed to puzzle the officer concerned.”
> 
> Drumknott delicately licked his finger and turned a page.
> 
> Vimes stared at him.

_Feet of Clay,_ Terry Pratchett, 1996.

* * *

Honestly, you do have to feel sorry for Vimes. The Patrician is struck down, and here he is, with a fucking _mirror_ of Vetinari, except that this one, as well as being dry, fastidious, and downright fucking weird, then, adds insult to injury, and _also_ calls him “sir”.

I really love this, because like… Drumknott shows us, in a very short few lines of conversation, that he’s _particular_ and he’s fastidious: he will quote precisely what someone has said if he’s asked, and he’ll be delicate as he peruses the Patrician’s diary. Again, he shows complete innocence when Vimes mentions Wonse trying to kill him – that wasn’t him, it doesn’t affect him, and he won’t even pretend to understand why Wonse would have _wanted_ to kill him.

It's _very_ similar to the Patrician’s own demeanour, pretending not to know as much as he does, pretending not to see the obvious, and pretending not to see other people’s implications.

 

> Cheri Littlebottom strode into the palace kitchens and fired her crossbow into the ceiling.
> 
>  “Don’t nobody move!” she yelled.
> 
> The Patrician’s domestic staff looked up from their dinner.
> 
> “When you say don’t nobody move,” said Drumknott carefully, fastidiously taking a piece of plaster off his plate, “do you in fact mean—?”

_Feet of Clay,_ Terry Pratchett, 1996.

* * *

Isn’t he just the worst?

 _Love him_.

Anyway, I especially love this little moment because it reinforces that idea of Drumknott as fastidious and particular – again, very aware of the double negatives and the technical incorrectness, as well as picking plaster from his plate “fastidiously”, but like… He’s _unshakable_ here. He doesn’t raise his voice, he doesn’t fuss or panic.

He just sits there quietly, and does the verbal equivalent of raising one eyebrow.

I would note here that like… As time goes on, Vetinari and Drumknott are shown to parallel one another more and more, but from the very _get-go_ , in our interactions with Drumknott, what we learn – and what leaves Vimes repeatedly struck dumb – is that Drumknott is _very like_ his lordship in aspect and mannerism.

This man is _not_ like Lupine Wonse: he’s almost made in Vetinari’s own image, or so it might appear.

 

> Vetinari watched [Vimes] go, and sighed. “He does so like a dramatic exit,” he said.
> 
> “Yes, my lord,” said Drumknott, who had appeared noiselessly at his shoulder.

_Feet of Clay,_ Terry Pratchett, 1996.

* * *

 

I really love this little moment, because like…

So, in the little moments in _Men At Arms_ up to this point, we see Drumknott mostly apart from the Patrician, but any of us accustomed to the Patrician’s body language and manner of speech will recognise the same beats in Drumknott himself: the fastidious nature, the carefully measured words, the dry humour.

And here, Vetinari has just been speaking with Vimes in the Rats Chamber, has kind of had this back and forth with him, and as _soon_ as Vimes disappears, Drumknott is at his shoulder. This moment very much reminds me of when Jeeves “shimmers in” behind Bertie in the Wodehouse novels: the use of the word “appear” very much does imply a really impressive grace on Drumknott’s part, but more than that, like…

It’s about the _rhythm_ he has with Vetinari.

We’ve seen that these two are similar in the rest of the book so far, and when Drumknott comes in, they easily fall into step with one another, forming this little rhythm.

 

> _[Vetinari says he knew what was going on, and pretended not to, so he could let Vimes figure it out himself, because Vimes likes to figure things out.]_
> 
> “But, my lord, you could have sorted it out diplomatically! Instead he went around upsetting things and making a lot of people very angry and afraid—”
> 
> “Yes. Dear me. Tsk, tsk.”
> 
> “Ah,” said Drumknott.
> 
> “Quite so,” said the Patrician.

_Feet of Clay,_ Terry Pratchett, 1996.

* * *

So, Drumknott hasn’t been in Vetinari’s service all that long, right? You know, he’s only been around like, a year. They’ve settled into a rhythm, and Drumknott knows Vetinari quite well – as well as anybody knows him, presumably.

He uses an _exclamation mark_.

So here, in the Patrician’s presence, he isn’t the calm and fastidious individual we see before Vimes, Cheri, the other Watchmen: we see him show emotion, we see his composure break. There’s another parallel with Vetinari himself, in terms of appropriate places to show emotion, but it also sets Drumknott aside from service staff – with Vetinari, his _employer_ , he can evidently relax enough to raise his voice a bit.

But what he _says_.

_But, my lord, you could have sorted it out diplomatically!_

This fascinates me, because it’s a _protest_.

There’s two ways you can interpret this.

Either that Drumknott is _surprised_ that Vetinari has just allowed for this nonsense to happen – which, given that I have said before that Drumknott is truly Lawful Neutral, and that Vetinari _masquerades_ as Lawful Neutral, but is in fact Chaotic Good, that does, in its own way, make sense. You know, Vetinari, who seems from the outside to be so calm and sensible, that he should let Vimes go about upsetting people.

Or, and this is my personal interpretation, that he really is _chiding_ him, which, I think as we explore Drumknott’s development later on, does get more believable, because like… Vetinari and Drumknott really do serve to _complement_ one another, and Vetinari really does treat Drumknott as his equal, to some extent, which I shall discuss more later.

I also find this just funny, like…

Drumknott blames Vimes?

Which I think is so funny, and so telling, because we see it with Moist and other people, too – Vetinari has engendered this fucking situation by manipulating people and tying them up in knots for longer than needs be, and Drumknott says, “oh, but _he_ did all this” – at once, he’s acknowledging that Vimes is just one of Vetinari’s Thud pieces (albeit a favourite), but also blaming him, and that’s just… Really funny.

Drumknott, why are you such a dick?

 

> “Do you wish me to have the table in the Rats Chamber repaired?”
> 
> “No, Drumknott, leave the axe where it is. It will make a good…conversation piece, I think.”
> 
> “May I make an observation, my lord?”
> 
> “Of course you may,” said Vetinari, watching Vimes walk through the palace gates.
> 
> “The thought occurs, sir, that if Commander Vimes did not exist you would have had to invent him.”
> 
> “You know, Drumknott, I rather think I did.”

_Feet of Clay,_ Terry Pratchett, 1996.

* * *

Okay, so firstly, I would draw your attention to the fact that Drumknott _asks_ if he should have the table repaired. I think this is really one of those first inklings to the fact that Drumknott really does predict a lot of Vetinari’s trains of thought before they can get to their destinations, and that the two of them learn to think in parallel: most people would just quietly have the table prepared, but Drumknott sees the axe, and _knows_ that Vetinari will likely want it to somehow be put to some use.

Secondly, I would just…

God.

Drumknott, who _asks_ , may I say something, and Vetinari who doesn’t just say, yes, but _of course_. I do tend to think this is the natural way of things: Drumknott is very aware of his place and is very self-effacing, whereas Vetinari tends to just encourage him to talk as freely as he dares, so long as he isn’t rude about it, and I… love them.

RE: the Vimes comment, honestly, I just!

Buh.

This is Drumknott…

It’s so funny, because it really is like, a point to Vetinari, but I think it’s that very _grudging_ admission that Drumknott respects Vimes (as much as a clerk might respect any man that keeps punching holes in your wall): if Vetinari created him, or as good as, then he _must_ be worth respecting.

I’m crying, thanks!

# Jingo (Watch #4, Disc #21)

So, Drumknott is only in one scene in Jingo, but it’s fabulously gay and _very_ revealing as to Vetinari and Drumknott’s dynamic, so!

The context behind this scene is that a lot of the lords and guild heads are gathered around because they want to gather an army, and Vetinari is effectively saying, in his fun little way, that there isn’t enough _money_ to do that, because certain individuals (the individuals at the table, bar Vimes) don’t pay their taxes.

 

> “And I suspect that in recent years a very lucrative market [for weapons] has been Klatch?”
> 
> “Well, yes…the Seriph needs them to pacify the outlying regions…”
> 
> The Patrician held up his hand. Drumknott, his clerk, gave him a piece of paper.

* * *

 

> “We could certainly do with one,” said Lord Vetinari. “We need the money. I was about to say that we cannot _afford_ mercenaries.”
> 
> “How can this be?” said Lord Downey. “Don’t we pay our taxes?”
> 
> “Ah, I thought we might come to that,” said Lord Vetinari. He raised his hand and, on cue again, his clerk placed a piece of paper in it.

* * *

 

> The Patrician raised his eyebrows. “Commander Vimes?”
> 
> “Yes, sir?”
> 
> “Would you be so good as to assemble a squad of your most experienced men, liaise with the tax gatherers and obtain the accumulated back taxes, please? My clerk here will give you a list of the prime defaulters.”
> 
> “Right, sir. And if they resist, sir?” said Vimes, smiling nastily.
> 
> “Oh, how can they resist, commander? This is the will of our civic leaders.” He took the paper his clerk proffered. “Let me see, now. Top of the list—”
> 
> Lord Selachii coughed hurriedly. “Far too late for that sort of nonsense now,” he said.

_Jingo,_ Terry Pratchett, 1997

* * *

 

So, this is the first glimpse of a behaviour that Vetinari and Drumknott display _repeatedly_ throughout the series, especially during the Industrial Revolution, usually across from Moist. What I would note is that they don’t usually perform this routine for Vimes’ benefit (in fact, Vimes is ordinarily welcome to join them, when he’s in the room), but it’s something that they do to fuck other people up.

Here, Drumknott is non-verbal, although with Moist, later on, it’s much more of a comedic double act.

What you effectively have is Vetinari, who has neatly predicted everything that’s going to come up in this meeting, has already decided what he’s going to say, and, _crucially_ , has **CHOREOGRAPHED** what he’s going to say – and what papers he needs – with Drumknott.

This choreography is _presumably_ as a result of the two of them just… coming to precisely the same conclusions as to what will come up, and thus having their quips/papers respectively ready (likely), and then going through with one another a checklist to make sure neither of them has missed anything.

The funny thing about these two is that like…

The defining point of Vetinari’s character – and therefore, by extension, Drumknott’s – is that you scarcely ever see a hint as to his internal dialogue, and you rarely see the _planning_ and _infrastructure_ he puts in, prior to an event. You only see the result of his work, and his smug face, him being put-together and perfect: I would generally wager that he probably plans a _lot_ of this stuff through with Drumknott, and uses him as a sounding board for a great many things.

It's just so funny because here…

You know, Drumknott is a prop, almost?

He’s exemplifying Vetinari’s neat and orderly power over his staff, handing over the right papers “on cue”, keeping the meeting running smoothly, but this is _just_ as indicative of Drumknott’s own careful organisation and consideration, albeit only to _us_ , the reader. To the men in the meeting room, Drumknott is naught more than a cog working with Vetinari’s machine, and thus, Drumknott is allowed to remain unobtrusive and kind of in the background, even as he does this funny little dance with the Patrician.

It’s excellent.

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE talk to me about Rufus Drumknott (or other Discworld characters). I am [on Dreamwidth](https://dictionarywrites.dreamwidth.org/) and on [Tumblr](http://patricianandclerk.tumblr.com/ask) (and indeed, this world) exclusively for this purpose, and this purpose alone. Also, [I run a Discworld/Terry Pratchett Discord](https://discord.gg/b8Z3ThH)!


End file.
